Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Quite a breeze

A girl lies on a surf board as her boyfriend issues orders. I told her if he loved her he would be in the water with her.

The WW2 landing craft prepares to enter the water at Surf Dock

Cranes are back in fashion again

The taxi holding area at the airport stands empty.

The storm came and though it was quite a storm it did not live up to expectations.

The army were on high alert and schools were closed. Operations which were not urgent were postponed to reduce the chances of people being hit by falling trees.

Before the storm hit all the birds went silent and a warm breeze arrived 13C.

In Dublin we had a non event about 6 trees blown down while in Cork and Kerry they had more hardship.

3 people died all over which is bad enough though.

I ventured out and found a girl with a broken arm, she didn't know that her appointment was cancelled.

The other young lady I picked up at Clontarf Garda station.
"Did you escape or did they let you out?"
"Is it that obvious, I was held there all night, they beat me with batons and I think I have a broken rib as well"
You might think that in this modern day and age that they would not behave like this.
I have no doubt that she was beaten. I told her to get a friend over and photograph her bruises and to cover her breasts while taking the photos, not to turn it into a page 3 leering display.

Then go to a doctor and to hospital to have an Xray.
Tell the doctor to make notes and tell the hospital that this will be used in an official complaint.

"Jesus mister you must have been through this yourself"

I said no but it shouldn't happen. A little thing could be subdued without any force and put in restraints.`

"I hope you'r not kinky John, you said that like you knew what you were doing"

A big laugh and a €2 tip and we parted our ways..

So home for breakfast and the buses went off.
Not much was really happening and I went home.

The ferry crossings were suspended as well.
Europe was totally isolated.

Around 5 PM I found out that hundreds of people were stick at the airport and any taxi was welcome to come with or without the airport pass.

I did 3 runs but the tales of woe were non ending.

Click here to read about the Big wind of 1839
This was a pivotal moment in Irish history

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Batten down the hatches

Spiral staircase at the Gibson Hotel

A mural of the man himself

This is Japanese knot weed a very noxious weed.

Everything to one side!
Tomorrow we are expecting the strongest storm since the 60s
I know Mt Trump that you said there is no global warming.
But don't go outside without a hat or you might take off like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz 
All schools closed tomorrow !

Safe travels if you have to go.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Contact Don

 Every taxi should have the seats covered, on a wet day the seats get wet and on a really bad day a lady might pee on the seat.
I had Dons name and I rang him up.
What a fantastic job.
It has added at least €1,000 to the value of my car.
Dons number is 086 3654615
Click here for his website

When you get a good job tell the world!

Saturday, October 07, 2017

Scrapyard blues

 I spent most of my morning looking at cars in a scrapyard.
One of my neighbors was rammed on the seafront ! 
The other driver just said "I looked and there was no one coming"
Still no one injured not like the car in the top photo.
I don't know how anyone got out alive.
There is a craze out around Baldoyle of setting fire to cars.
There is a good case for setting up a vigilante group. 
As we drove away the memories of her now defunct car came flooding back. 
"I used to bring Mam out here in the summer, it was a great car" 
Then delayed shock kicked in and the tears and the moaning came, without any reserve. A dam burst of emotions.
Delayed shock.
I saw it once when I was called to the childrens hospital in Crumlin. God there are far worse things in life than loosing a car.

Now the last photo taken from an iconic poster drawn by an Irishman in Kilkee co Clare. 
Its our new stamp.
Che was on a flight from Cuba to Moscow via Shannon and his flight was delayed, so someone brought him on a sightseeing tour. The artist never got a penny for his work.
But thats life.

Any taxi driver can sympathize with me on this one.
A Spanish girl waved me down near the Mosque on the SCR going to the Spire, she was messing with her fone all the time.
"Why are you going this way? Go along the SCR and down Camden St.   Its quicker."
I say that by going down Clanbrassil St I get a bus lane all the way.
Conversation goes back to normal until we reach O'Connell bridge
"There is the 120 bus that I missed. You took me the long way" 
So I asked her if she had taken the reg of the bus?
There is more than one 120 buses you know.
Her bus might be 2 buses behind that one as they have to stop at every stop to pick up people.

You cannot win anyhow, or can you?

The way to deal with this if it is a short journey and you are not too far into it.
"I am sorry that you don't trust me and that you think I am robbing you,
So I am stopping here and you have to get out. 
Get another taxi if you can and I wish you a good day?"

It works really wonders, all the stress gone.

Thursday, October 05, 2017

Las Vegas

I was numbed when I heard of the carnage in LasVegas.
Such a sad sad day.
So many lives cut short for no reason.

Perhaps it is time for the people in America to waken up to the stupidity of the present gun laws.

You would think that after all the other times things would change.

I hope that time will heal the pain.
God bless you all.

Sunday, October 01, 2017

As Colombo once said

Just one more thing, As Colombo might say.
I bought 2 cars in Japan and imported them into Ireland, one car had only one key.

I asked around and was told that they were very hard to get.
I contacted my agent in Japan and they gave me a breakdown of €540 or near enough.
This price included a handling fee of €50.
Then there would be cost of shipping and local Irish taxes and no it would not be programmed.

So I soldiered on.

Autokey ! 
This must be the answer to my problem.
I went into their Swords branch where a Polish? guy started to serve me.
Then Darren took over. 
We have those keys on order they should be in next week.

I must have phoned back 10 times, now he called me John when he herd my voice.
Then it was "I will just check, I know they are in and I will ring you right back" 
at least 4 times this happened and he never rang back.

Then one day I rang the other branch.
"No we have no orders in for those keys at all, anyhow, they are not available". 

I was shocked and when I could I went out to Newlands cross to the head office to talk with the boss. 
The key as it turned out was never ordered.
We never got an inquiry for it.
The was no explanation as to why Darren lied to me.

Darren did ring me back later with the most stupid explanation and I wish I had it recorded.

Talking to another driver I found a locksmith in Mullhudart  who said "No problem"
I was away for 4 weeks and when I rang him back he said that my phone was not ringing out for some reason.
"I got that key the next day"

There is no problem getting those Keys Toyota Ireland have them in stock.
So there you have it 
Be sure you have a spare key for these modern cars.
If you loose one it could cost you €3000 to have it re keyed and the locks changed. 

Photo of his shop above. 

Saturday, September 30, 2017

Complaints I've had a few

Grapes growing in my brother in-laws hedge in Holland

This is an example of Vllseo fabric

Phillips invented the light bulb and they have a festival of light in Eindhoven Here is a ladu putting in the filament.

 If things go wrong where do you turn?

I lost my glasses, I wasn't blind but they didn't turn up.

So I went to Specsavers in the Omni center.
It cost a few bob, 2 pair of specs plus reading glasses.
The big day came to collect them.
"These don't seem right I said when I put them on."
Its a new perspription you will soon get used to them.
I didn't get used to them and went back.
No way would he entertain me.
There is a big guarantee I said
I foned them to no avail
I wrote to Specsavers in Guernsey and got no reply.
I sent them a registered letter, no joy either.
I was in Blackpool and Specksavers there told me that they would surely help me.

I bought another set of specs in McNallys for around €300

I told my tale to a customer in the taxi and he told me to go straight to the small claims court.
I told Specsavers that we will next meet in court to sort out my problem.
I got a call from the manager in Specsavers in the Omni center.
"What is going on? This matter was taken care of 4 months ago."
He brought me in and checked the glasses.

I kid you not the astigmatism of my eve had changed from right to left to left to right.
The glasses were correct, my eyes had changed.
He just gave me a "Free" pair of glasses.
The fight had gone out of me. I should have gone to court for a full refund..

Then once upon a time I bought myself a new mobile fone in The Car Fone Warehouse in Clearys.
He showed me a Samsung Galixy, really very nice.
"Everything will transfer to the other fone"
So they started to transfer all my photos and information.
After around 20 minutes I went off to get a cup of tea. 
It was still working away when I came back.
"Its done now we had to delete 200 photos to fit everything on to the new fone, but everything is on your old fone ( Except the 200 photos which were still on my Ifone)
Then they gave me the fone and I turned it on.
Where are my Apps?
The apps don't transfer from Apple to Samsung.
But you said 
"Everything will transfer to the other fone"
Apps don't transfer from one to the other. 
The deal is off so.
The manager said "Once the seal on the box is broken there is no going back". 
I wrote to the company 4 times including once to their solicitors on Mount St.
A lovely lady rang me to say I could download all my apps from the net.
When I said that my Hailo logs would be lost she just ignored me.

My son got a new fone.

A customer told me that I had a good case for contacting Comreg.

They sold you that fone just because the commission was better.

So big companies will tell you to fuck off when you need help.

But I will not be using Ryanair for the forcible future.

Or the Carefone warehouse

Or Specsavers for sure.

Too big to care just right to fail !!!!

When we were in Holland there was a design student staying in the house,

Did you ever see an African lady dressed up to go to church?
Chances were that her bright dress was printed in Holland by an old Dutch family called Vllisco (click on the name)

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Video interlude

 A few weeks ago I had to go to the airport to try and recover a Chinese mans lost luggage.
The inertia and "Not my job" attitude shocked me.

Then I saw this well made video that framed the situation perfectly

Incredible episode of Judge Judy

Taxi drivers have life changing things happen to them. Here is one

 This is a taxi driver from Chicago
Listen to his story.

Perhaps I should put in a few cameras and become the Irish Cash Cab

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Magic moment....... Almost

I liked Barcelona a lot, I would like to spend a month there.
There was a magic shop in the middle of Barcelona, the oldest one in Europe they said.
I went there twice, the first time a guy was trying to make up his mind as to which deck of cards he would buy? He couldn't decide and the lady behind the counter didn't suggest that she would attend to the two other people waiting.
I had a fantastic magic trick which is so different that I thought she might be amused and put it into production. No patience, I went.
On Sunday we went back as we wanted to visit the Picasso museum (It was really good) 

He was setting up shop and I showed it to him.
Do you know how it works?
Svengalli !!
No I said,
Rough and smooth?
Then he said long and short, (Its not) So I just said you're right and went.

I will try to record it and show you,
You will be amazed..

So popping around the place and 3 Syrian guys jumped in.
Where are you going?
They hold up a mobile fone with tiny letters,
I can't read it its too small.

I did hear a place followed by Tallagh.
So I headed off.
I sensed that there was something up and I asked the guy on the front seat to put in on my google maps.
Shit it was weird !
Took me up towards Harrolds cross then turn around to go on the canal...
Sat navs never err????
Then out the Naas duel carriageway then on to the M50.

Then it hit me they were going to Charlestown in Finglas,,,

Look lads, this is a mistake. 
Not mine and not yours. 
To make it right I will turn off the meter and just charge you €25.. 

We all make mistakes that is why God puts a rubber on the end of a pencil.

Lads practice saying Cherlestown Finglas for the next time

My son gave me a poem it could be every taxi drivers prayer.

Click here   

OK here is one of the nicest guys in Magic. I have met him 4 times and he is fantastic

And a really great magician.
What do you think ? 


Sunday, September 24, 2017

Been there done that.

The photo thing is still a mess 
I'm back, I did 2 jobs today and tomorrow I will work for a full day.

Its really great how we can hop around Europe thanks to Ryanair.

Except Ryanair really let down their customers in a super spectacular fashion this week.

Thousands left stranded!

So if it it happens to you, go to a railway station and buy a Eurail pass It will take you right across Europe by train in a few hours. It was the way to go in the 80s and its still good.

There is also a European bus network!!!

Big news from London Uber is being kicked out.
Security is the issue, things happened and were not reported to the Police.
Then there was the vetting process.
I had a few people in my taxi who told me about Uber very scary stories.

An app for calling a licensed taxi is one thing

Calling Joe Bloggs just out of prison in an unlicenced car which is also not insured as a taxi is another completely different thing.

Back again soon

Wednesday, September 13, 2017


"Where are we honey?"
"Why its Thursday, we must be in Rome." 

Tomorrow is Thursday and I am in Holland.

Business, "What kind of business?"
"Mind your own business kind of business" 

So there is a photo behind the bar in Clearys pub in Aimiens St. (Best pint of Guinness)
I looked at it and the barman laughed at me.
"Don't tell me that you don't recognize Luke Kelly?"
Probably 18 years old no beard, a true folk hero, a fantastic photo.
Worth a look if you are a fin in Aimiens St.

A good few years ago I got a job to Phil Coulters house in Bray.
As I was handing over the parcel I saw Phils piano in the sitting room.
I asked and I was told that this was his one and only and original piano.  
"Could I please put my hand on it?"
She obliged and I really felt the energy from what this tool had produced such great songs,
With a little help from Mr.Coulter.

Coulter had a downs syndrome child and he wrote this song and he insisted that Luke sang it.


Tuesday, September 12, 2017

The big day out


I don't know how many cars turned up but I would say that it was well over 300 taxis.
We went out to gather up our charges with their minders and we went into Parnell Sq. to meet the Garda band. Then with Garda escort we whizzed through the city center out to the Leapordstown racecourse to dance to a disco with chicken nuggets and lots of lemonade..
Then we gather them up and bring them back to their care homes.

These "Kids "live in long term care homes.
With my hand on my heart I bless them all and I hope that God will forgive me for bitching about my grumbles.

When I dropped off my charges off I turned on my "MyTaxi" app and it was like I had hit the jackpot.
Just one job after another.
So good night sweet people sweet dreams. 

Monday, September 11, 2017

Tomorrow Tomorrow

Tomorrow is a special day.
The taxi drivers special day out!

Be there or be square !

I came back from Barcelona last night 5 hours late!
We love to travel and hate the delays.
I won't go into it but it took the airport people 3 hours to find a wheelchair to remove a passinger who had taken ill before we were allowed to load.
Thank God it wasn't a fire as it may have taken them a day to find Hose A and Hose B.

What a city such great planning.
Our trip from the airport by coach, over 50 kms  and we never met a traffic light.
By the way taxis are cheap and seem to be run well.

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Schools are back

The lions at Clontarf Castle are waiting

The gasometer down at Google

I just thought I would stick in a video clip.
If it works I will give you more.

Well it came all too fast, summers over and the swallows will soon be gone.
I was in Holland a while ago and now I am off to Barcelona for my break.

While I am gone behave yourselves.

On Sept 12th the taxi drivers big day out takes place.
This year take part..Ring 087 1213344
or 086 3701215  Its the very best thing 
you could do.  
An unlikely lady in the car the other day, she is devorsed from her husband and the row over property
and other assets from the marriage.
 "He was and is a bully, so ind I went to a solisator who was recommended. After a while waiting she came in in a sharply cut suit and stiletto shoes and fishnet stockings. All she was short of was the whip to put manners on the bastard.
I had found my warrior" It should be an interesting battle.
"He was Ok until I found my present partner Antonio an Italian, romantic and passionate.
It was like trading in a Fiat Panda and getting a top sports car, Tom is really scared of him which is great" 
I wished her well for the future. 

I met a senior driver the other day. New 2017 car as well.
He didn't exactly land on his feet though.
He was coming along on the motorway when the car in front of him stopped dead.
He had no brake light warning  and he smashed into it. Both cars a write off.
The insurance company said that the taxi was at fault as he should have had a longer stopping distance...
I wouldn't like to be paying his insurance.
Then he found that he had bowel cancer, it has been a long road back to work.

He had one of the strangest things happen to him a few years ago,
Someone won €9 million in his area and the press were snooping around the shop looking for the winner. He went into the shop for a pack of mints and a young lad said. 
"Hey mister did you win the Lotto?" 
He said yea sure I did and then the press landed on his door and hounded him for months,
So be sure to keep it under your hat, 

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Something a bit different

While I was in Kerry visiting the cousins I photographed the old Irish language Bible.
Printed in 1827 it was before the great famine.
The fonts were very different and you would have to travel a few miles now to find someone who could even read the old script.
My forefathers as it turned out were protestant missionaries on the most remote tip of Europe back then.
If only that book could talk.

I am only getting used to the new 3rd generation Prius.
The "Proximity" key is a bitch. You walk up to the car and when you clasp the handle it unlocks,
(Big deal)
you put your foot on the brake and start it.
Where did you put the key when you got in?
You need it to lock it.
In a normal car it would be in the ignition, right?
Now it can be anywhere and you need to have it to lock the car.
So you look on the dash, on the cup holder, the glove compartment only to find it in your pocket !

Still its not as bad as the customer who bought a used Ferrari in California.
"Wow I was a real bigshot.
I took a call on my mobile (A big thing back then)
I put my coffee and keys on the roof of the car,
took the coffee and drove to my important meeting.
I didn't make it.
The keys fell off the roof and the car stopped.
The replacement key and towing charges nearly broke me.
Don't live beyond your means my friend"

Still in a month or so I will figure out on which side the wipers and the lights are, and the horn too.

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Death and taxes..

Today and over the weekend I will be doing my income tax.
A very wise and successful man told me many years ago to do it weekly, monthly, quarterly.
Then do a review of your activities after that carry on and its done.
He turned out to be a billionare and I still did not take his advice.
His name was Chuck Feeney
So now its panic stations once again!!!!!
I was in Kerry last week, God the music is great. In Dingle we went to a concert in St.James church.
The folk concerts are so professional, better than TV.
The performer asked if anyone could do a jig, "I will give anyone who dances it a CD"
This girl danced like there was no yesterday. 
As it turned out she was German.
She was a wonderful dancer, typical that foreigners can do our stuff better than we can.
A fantastic night for one and all.

I have to get this photo thing sorted out, after all they say a picture says a thousand words.

As you go on in life things come across your bow which  you cannot avoid or solve,
A girl from Brazil learning English has a sick father at home. 
Not good at all.
So she has to go home without finishing her course.
Now the air fair to go and back to Brazil is expensive plus her job and her flat will be gone when she comes back.
God she really is a really nice kid... But she has to go. 
The future for her is difficult for sure.

So there was me saying how my income tax was a pin in the ass

Perhaps if we knew someone who was a little bit mad it would help.

Here is Chuck

Sunday, August 13, 2017

The Dublin horse show

As I am an idiot when it comes to computers I find that the photos will not load.
Tomorrow I will go to Andrew to ask him why. So we will continue with sound and no vision.
The Dublin horse finished today, thousands of horse lovers from all over the world gathered in Dublin, a fantastic event. America won the jumping trophy and great fun was had by one and all.
There was an armored BMW heading over to the event. I know the car it gives 8 mpg!!!
I spoke to the driver once after driving 2 miles on my battery after I had run out of petrol.
It weighs 3 tonnes (Whatever that is in new money)

I was in Kerry visiting my relations and we went to the Blasket Island to show my brother in law where my ancestors came from, the island of writers and story tellers.
Irish history is strange.
Driving back to Dublin in around 4 hours.
My back decided to go into spasm.
Taxi drivers should own a 4 mile dog.
4 miles every morning .
4 miles every evening.
My 3 mile dog died a few years ago.

Anyhoo as they say in Canada things progress.
Today they had a road race and closed off the Sam Bcekett bridge and the Quays, I got a MyTaxi call and the location was wrong, she was not helpful at all, then she didn't believe me that the bridge was closed.
"Its not on the internet"
So I offered to driver her towards the bridge to show her, "Whatever".
I made a minor detour and crossed through 2 red lights. Then another one through Abbey St.
The car behind me pulled along beside me. 2 armed Garda and it became 20 questions time.
Look Nothing was coming! ++++++=
No I don't drive through red lights all the time.
No I am not blind.Etc Etc

Look! this lady thinks that I am trying to scam her, tell her that the bridge is shut and then you can take her to Dundrum yourself while you are at it.

He gave up at that and drove off.
She the grumpy bitch held on to her grudge and gave me the exact fare at journeys end.

One other job that sticks out was a Canadian lady heading out to the Clayton airport hotel (Bewleys)
As I went in to the hotel to validate my parking ticket a flock of flight attendants came out and I said
They stopped and laughed, Japanese girls, they were all around 5'9 and looked great.

Next week I will bring a note book. Promise.
Then came the sad news that Eugen Burger had died. I love magic and I have met Eugene a few times
RIP Eugene

Have a great week.

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United Kingdom

Thursday, August 03, 2017

Galway races

This week we have the wonderful Galway races, a great occasion for one and all.
Two taxi drivers decided to take a bit of time off and they drove the long road to Galway.
They had hot tips and blankets to spend the night in the car.
Coming home they were in a very sorry state, they had lost all their money and they also had dreadful hangovers.
As they joined the long snake of traffic heading for the N4 a time of narrow roads and no motorways they were in despair. A young guy with a long coat was up ahead with his thumb up so they stopped.
When he got in he told them that this was the best Galway races he had for years.
They moaned and groaned about their losses, he told them never to follow horses.
He made them laugh all the way and just when they had forgotten all their problems they were stopped by a Garda in Kilbeggan.”You only have one headlamp working” on closer inspection he found a tax disc out of date and a bald tyre. When he inspected the drivers licence it was found to be a year out of date. Out came the notebook and pencil and the officer started writing and taking note of everything.
When he had finished the young passenger got out and went over to the Garda. He put his arm around him and patted him on the chest, he pulled the tail end of his uniform and said what fine men the boys in the car were, You should give them a chance.
No No No the Garda said so he patted him on the chest again while the men in the car felt that they would be locked up.
He gave up and came back to the car.
“lads I don’t know what I was thinking about, the traffic is very heavy, take a left here and I know a quicker route to Dublin”
As they approached  Crumlin in the early hours the hitchhiker pointed out where he wanted to get off.
“Don’t worry about that Garda and his summons, unless he has a fantastic memory you are home and dry. That tunic was very tightly buttoned and I nearly didn’t get it, but I did get it.
I am a pickpocket, one of the very best there is. Here is the Gardas notebook and that is why we had to go cross country, every Garda on the road was looking for us.
I might see you at the races again next year.”